dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
