Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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