glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
