i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
