We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
