Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
