i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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