My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize