Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
