I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Congratulations! We have a period
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