we made out on top of his cat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
