Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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