I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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