Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
a search helicopter?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
