the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
