cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
