You really coming over, don't trick.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
