so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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