Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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