You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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