A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize