he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
