Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
