Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize