If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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