Farmville is her only friend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
this will be a night to untag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
