Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
