everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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