you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
