so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
