At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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