look no pants
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You are a genius and a whore.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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