It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
