the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
