either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
