hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
