shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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