I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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