As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
