Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
