bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
