Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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