I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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