this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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