the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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