I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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