I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
