Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
