He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
pop tarts are not kleenex
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
