the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
