Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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