i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
