i barfeds in our rink
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
