if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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