me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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