I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
