mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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