have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
