i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
